I never ever ever thought I would say this but today, for the first time ever, I wanted to be a boy. There are these gorgeous fields on my way to school where all the boys play soccer. I would so much love to run in those fields. The way women are semi-invisible here is almost eerie. I haven’t decided yet whether it is worse to be verbally taunted or to not really exist. I’m sure I will get a better feel for things in the future, and have a deeper and more appropriate insight into the situation, but so far, my observations are thus:
- women are not really respected. The respect for your elders thing is reduced to, you probably shouldn’t harass her in the street, when the elder is a woman. Last night I was walking back from the bakery with my host mom and there were these boys playing in the street and as we walked by one of them pretended to throw a ball at her and was laughing. Cat calls are common, mostly for westerners naturally, but boys can be extremely rude and crude. For the first time I can see how a burqa might be desirable. Being completely left alone and untouchable… may be better than being threatened. Even a rough crowd I don’t think would touch a woman fully veiled.
-women do not get the same enjoyments as men. The soccer example is a good one, I have also seen several men jogging, something I of course would really like to do, but definitely no. The other big thing here is to sit at a coffee shop and just drink coffee and smoke for hours and hours. But women do not go to coffee shops, or, I was informed today, they go to ones very far away from where they live, where no one will know them because it is shameful for women to be seen like this.
-women do not interact with men. My host brother and I are not very close. He doesn’t talk to me much, partially because I think he is just an awkward teenage boy (somethings ARE universal) but today, my brother walked me and my male classmate home from lunch and the two of them were chatting up a storm (as much as you can when you speak zero of the same language). In public, women go out with each other, their kids, their husbands, and occasionally alone. Mixing not so much.
-women are not safe like men. Don’t get me wrong on this one, I don’t think anyone, male or female would want to be walking the streets of the medina at night, but the ratio of men to women out past dark is even more disproportionate than during the day. Men and even really young boys are still hoppin around and hanging out in the bigger streets or creepily lurking on the side streets at night, but women not so much and they’re definitely not out alone.
Ok, now all of this with a grain of salt. There are highly respected females at my school, professors and professionals. Few women here wear a burqa and a lot don’t even wear a hijab (not that that is necessarily about inequality… debatable) my host mom goes out alone and with my sister and i. Miriam and I even go after dark together before it gets too late. And the medina of Fes is more conservative, in the new city it’s way more modern, gender equality included, and there are other cities more liberal than Fes. Also, I know it’s all cultural and I am here to learn and blah blah. I cannot help being bothered by the small things that I do notice and don’t necessarily like, though, and I also always remember there are country areas too where it is ten times worse. It’s hard, and it’s still very new to me. come to Morocco and decide for yourself, I guess. Until then, can I play soccer with the boys?