I got a very nice call from Jomanna this evening, who is thus far the closest woman to sainthood I have met. Jomanna is another professor at Al-albayt, she is 33 years old, and she got her PhD at age 26. She comes from a pretty conservative family, she says, her dad doesn’t let her do much but he has allowed her to get a good education so she spends her time studying. She always wants to learn as much as possible in a short amount of time and is dedicated to serving others- I was actually surprised as to how often and appropriately the verb “to serve” came out of her good, but still limited English vocabulary. For example, she said there were two deaf girls in town who never got out and as such were mentally and socially handicapped. So, Jomanna learned Arabic sign language and taught it to them and took them out into town, because this is how she saw she could serve them. I’d say. She has adopted me as her sister at the university, which is a service to me probably more than she or anyone could ever comprehend.
Anyway, Jomanna called me to check in, I had talked to a Peace Corps Volunteer, Scot, about some concerns I had about teaching and he had passed them along to her, so she was calling to make sure “I could be happy.” The thing I have to understand, she explained to me, was that my students were the ones who, when they took the placement exam, failed. I have to understand, that they come from schools in the country, where no one speaks English. I have to understand that one of the levels I teach is pass/fail so the students probably wont try that hard, because a 90% is the same as 50%. I feel like I actually understand most of these things quite well. It became pretty clear on the first day of class when my interaction with students went something like this:
Me: Hello, my name is Ms. Jennifer and I am from America. I will be you teacher this semester. Our rules for the class will be, please, no cell phones. Speak only in English, so we can practice, and if you ever don’t understand or want me to repeat something, raise your hand.
Class: blank stares…
Me: do you know, “raise your hand” (mimes raising hand)
Class: blank stares…
Me: right now, if any of you speak any English, raise your hand.
Class: blank stares…
Me: Right now, if you understand what I say, raise your hand.
One student raises his hand.

So I actually learned very quickly just how beginner, Beginning English is. I learned when I asked my 99 level class (like 101 in the states) to write the English alphabet. A lot of students left out the letter “u.” I also asked them to spell out the numbers, I gave them the example “one” and most of them wrote “1, 2, 3, 4…” and then I asked them to write anything they knew how to say about themselves in English. Most had a sentence or two, a few only wrote their names what I don’t understand, however, is how I am qualified at all to teach these students. With a bachelor’s degree in anything but education, I fail to see how my status as “native speaker” qualifies me to get up in front of 100 university students twice a week for an hour and a half and get them to a working proficiency of English. I am all about rising to a challenge; I came to Jordan hoping that it would push my comfort levels, wanting to learn things about myself, strengths, weaknesses, and all the mushy parts in between. But usually, when I come across mental, emotional, and physical stresses, I feel I at least have tools I can draw on to deal, overcome, and grow. Other than constantly googling “TEFL Lesson plans” I am at a loss for this one.
After my first day of teaching, I went to hide away in another Peace Corps Volunteer teacher’s room, and played chess with one of his students. Afterward, Ahmed asked if he could talk to me and give me some advice. Of course! I answered, I am starving for help and advice. “You must have every lesson prepared perfectly,” he solemnly told me. “You must not let them see you make mistake and you must tell them everything in perfect Arabic. They do not understand otherwise and, I am so sorry to tell you this, I know it seems very difficult, but if you do not speak and tell them in Arabic, they will think you are very dumb.”
Thanks, Ahmed, for that lovely advice.
So I understand the level of the students. What I need to understand, it seems, is how to transform myself from pumpkin into English coach, how to make my already limited knowledge of grammatical terminology bilingual, and how to stand up in front of way to large language classes and get students to speak and interact in a language they don’t know- something that goes against the culture of this country’s education and social system. I think I might just have to be dumb.